• Megadeth - DYSTOPIA

    Image: Megadeth, Dystopia, Dave Mustaine, David Ellefson, Kiko Loureiro, Chris Adler Megadeth


    More than any other metal band in history, being a hardcore Megadeth fan is truly a rollercoaster ride. This is a band with multiple duds in their catalog, and yet they always seem to rebound. Think about it, they’ve truly had some bad releases in their catalog. RISK was terrible. THE WORLD NEEDS A HERO wasn’t a lot better. And yet,

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  • Anthrax - FOR ALL KINGS

    Image: Anthrax, For All Kings, Pitriff, Chris Akin Anthrax


    Depending on your perspective, Anthrax is either having a career resurgence or floundering at the end of their career. I’m stunned how many people actually didn’t like their last effort, FOR ALL KINGS. In these ears, that was the best effort of their career. What made it great, to me, was the mixture of crushing heaviness combined with some

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  • Sevendust - KILL THE FLAW

    Image: Sevendust, Kill The Flaw Sevendust


    When I first saw Sevendust’s new release was titled KILL THE FLAW, my initial thought was “what exactly is the flaw?” It leads you to wonder just what it is that caused this band to not break big, while bands with lesser quality catalogs like Disturbed or Korn had such crazy amounts of success at the same time. This

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  • Iron Maiden - THE BOOK OF SOULS

    Image: Iron Maiden, The Book of Souls, Review, Classic Metal, Pitriff, Chris Akin Iron Maiden


    They don’t do it that often anymore, but there’s always excitement when Iron Maiden comes out with new music. Knowing that they are closing in on the end of their career, you really do end up hoping that when they go out for good, it will be with a bang. I think it’s universally agreed upon that

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  • Slayer - REPENTLESS

    Image: Slayer, Repentless, Pitriff, Review, Thrash Metal, Chris Akin Slayer


    Probably more than any release in their history, Slayer came into releasing this album at a crossroads. This WAS the album that, in many ways, dictated if the band could continue on or if it was indeed time to drift off quietly to Hell. The loss of guitarist Jeff Hanneman and the removal of drummer Dave Lombardo had almost every Slayer

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  • Operation: Mindcrime - THE KEY

    Image: Operation Mindcrime, Geoff Tate, Reviews, Music, heavy metal Operation: Mindcrime


    Geoff Tate’s falling out and subsequent two years of lawsuits, multiple versions of the same band and overall craziness in the press definitely tarnished a legacy that once seemed untouchable. Think about it. Even with over a decade of arguably bad releases (Q2K, TRIBE, AMERICAN SOLDIER, DEDICATED TO CHAOS), it wasn’t until the now infamous spitting incident and the

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    Image: WASP, Golgotha, Blackie Lawless, Pitriff, Review, Heavy Metal W.A.S.P.


    W.A.S.P. is one of those bands that has a ridiculously loyal fanbase...and good for them, actually. Doing THE CLASSIC METAL SHOW, we get shit on repeatedly anytime we say anything that is less than glowing about W.A.S.P., Blackie Lawless or any of the band’s former or present members. Oh well...comes with the territory, I guess. After what seems like quite a

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Image: Bret Michaels, Jammin With Friends, PitriffBret Michaels

Concert Tickets

Have you ever watched some really b-level porn? Nevermind...y'all have and won't admit to it. When watching that porn, have you ever seen some of that more brutal "throat rape", where a dude literally chokes a woman to the point of passing out with an aggressive thrusting designed to blow out the back of her skull JFK style? Did you ever wonder what the chick was thinking at that exact moment? You have to image she was thinking, "man, this seemed like it would be a great idea before we started, but now I'm realizing just how awful this is and how detrimental this could be to the rest of my life." Listening to Bret Michaels' JAMMIN' WITH FRIENDS is pretty much the same. While it may have seemed like a good idea at the time, the result is just another horrific example of the fact that Michaels is barely a musician anymore; more interested in a name-dropping fest than actually putting any sort of effort into providing a quality product to the sheep that still buy his garbage.

Every possible thing that could be wrong with JAMMIN' WITH FRIENDS is, with the exception of the production being solid. That's actually to the detriment of Michaels though, as it really proves just how lazy his performance is time and time again. His vocal performance of the overdone, repeatedly reworked Michael's penned Poison song "Nothin' But A Good Time" is abysmal. It's nearly a spoken word version of it, made far worse by having to tolerate shitty yelling by rapper L'il Jon. It's literally unlistenable, much like damn near every other song on the disc. Once again, Michaels finds that it's not worth the effort to write much new material for his fans, instead opting to once again prostitute both the Poison and solo catalog to remake songs that were barely necessary in the first place. Here's a hint to Michaels - we know your daughter's name is "Raine", and we know that song is special to you. Ultimately though, it's a shit song that very few people liked then. Reworking it and adding the great Edwin McCain to it does not make it any more tolerable.

When Michaels does write some new material, it's pretty much as abysmal as anything that's reworked poorly here. "You Know You Want It" is the worst song of Michaels' career, and just might be the worst song ever recorded by a formerly platinum selling artist. It's an embarrassing attempt to write a song for the dance clubs. Just imagining this 50 year old guy crooning to bitches to back up on his dick because they know they want it is pretty pathetic and poor. But that's Michaels for you in 2013; a media whore desperately trying to prove that he's still relevant and "hip" to the kids. Another original, "The App Song" is just as bad with all it's references to being modern. We get it, Bret, you have a smartphone. It has apps and you can text with it. Thanks for clearing that up. I'm sure 10 years from now when all that technology is dated, you'll rerecorded this song again and just replace the words with whatever technology is popular at the moment. That's the lazy way out, so it's expected.

PITRIFF RATING - 1/100 - There's a list of albums from 80s artists that are pretty much the worst of all time from the genre. Such jewels as Gene Simmons' A$$HOLE, Lynch Mob's SMOKE THIS, Dokken's SHADOWLIFE and Motley Crue's GENERATION SWINE all are on this list. Fortunately for them though, Bret Michaels keeps putting out solo albums that push them down that list. JAMMIN' WITH FRIENDS though might just have cemented the #1 spot forevermore. As God awful as it gets, you are better served to carve your ears out of your head than to listen to this.

Image: Cause/Effect Metallica, Chris Akin

A look at one of the most polarizing, iconic and best selling albums of all time from author, rock critic and shock jock radio host Chris Akin.


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Image: Little Victories, Book, Chris Akin

The shockingly honest and emotional first book from radio personality and rock critic Chris Akin.

CLICK HERE to learn more about LITTLE VICTORIES.

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Available January 13th in Paperback and Digital Formats on Amazon and iTunes.

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